Let me set the scene: Once upon a time, on a normal, peaceful Sunday evening. Matilda, mummy and daddy were all snug in the living room getting ready for bath time and having a little skype with grandma when BANG. Catastrophe struck. Matilda somehow hurtled head first into a chest of drawers. Cue momentary silence and then the biggest, loudest wail emitted from her and this is a little girl that certainly can wail. Alongside this wailing cacophony, her face turned puce and a bright green golf ball formed on her forehead. Clever old daddy immediately sprang into action and raced to the kitchen for a bag of frozen peas to help stem the swelling whilst silly mummy was left floundering in the sitting room trying desperately to calm this inconsolable little baby. Poor Grandma was abandoned and forgotten, left to anxiously observe via Skype…sorry again…
After about 10 minutes we had managed to calm the wail to a whimper, but the golf ball on her head had morphed into a greeny – purple duck egg (ie. bloody massive). Being unsure as to whether we were/are massively over reacting parents or sensibly ‘doing the right thing’ we set out for A&E.
Unlike impish daddy, good girl mummy wasn’t over the alcohol limit (well done sensible mummy refusing that second glass of wine at lunch) so she drove and Matilda was kept amused by silly daddy. He did a superb job and the whimpers were quickly replaced by giggles. Grumpy old daddy even managed to criticise careful mummy’s driving on numerous (erroneous) occasions over the 10 minute journey. Who said men can’t multi task? It meant though, by the time we got to A&E Matilda was much happier and more or less back to her old self just with the stylish addition of an egg on her head. SS17 watch out.
Despite our fears the headlines proved not to be true. This A&E was mercifully not in crisis (or at least not an outwardly evident crisis) and there was not a mega long wait. We were seen by a triage nurse immediately and as Matilda sat their grinning and trying to ‘honk’ her nose she was deemed a none urgent emergency.
When we were called through the lovely young doctor did all the various tests – or as much as a squirmy 13 month old would let him – before he could pronounce Little Miss Bump A-OK and good to go. We still didn’t know if we ‘did the right thing’ so we asked the lovely young doctor what we should have done and he said to bring the baby in to hospital with a head injury if there is:
-loss of conscious
-swelling (so we WERE doing the right thing!)
-fluid from ears or nose
Or as the NHS handily show here: http://www.nhs.uk/Conditions/Head-injury-minor/Pages/Introduction.aspx
Following this ordeal reflective mummy has come to the following conclusions:
- Don’t let your daughter throw herself into a chest of drawers.
- The NHS is marvellous.
- Mean old daddy shouldn’t criticise mummy’s driving, especially when he’s in no fit state to drive himself.
ps. This mummy is aware a picture of little miss bump with her not so little bump is customary. This mummy is too mortified to show the world her biggest #parentingfail to date #theshame.