Dear Blog….

It’s not you, it’s me.

 

I’ve noticed in my previous relationships that I tend to jitter about the three month mark. It’s the turning point from a fun flirty early stages where everything is great and new and exciting, to where things become much more serious but also ‘real’. And I’m sorry to say blog but at nearly 3 months in we’re reaching that point. I need to figure out what I want and I’m starting to consider whether ours was merely a summer romance or if we have a long term future together.

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Summer lovin’ had me a blast…

Sure, you’ve provided me with some great times. Brilliant times. The love I received when I announced you to the world was overwhelming and made me feel so warm, fuzzy and loved. And this was in spite of the fact I was sat at home with a screaming, nap striking baby in the obligatory new mum uniform of sick stained breton top, too tight jeans, topped off by greasy, unwashed hair.

I’ve been approached by strangers online and in the real world who tell me how much they love you. And you know that you have been a real hit with my friends and family. I fondly remember the first time ‘proper’ bloggers like ‘Honest Mum’ and ‘Cuddle Fairy’ retweeted you. Each time was met with squeals of joy and franctic texts to everyone I know. When I was the featured blogger on Pick & Mix Fridays not once, but TWICE, well I went into total meltdown and cue many more frantic texts. We’ve had some good times together and part of me things this is just the start.

 

But blog, I have to be honest you have your downsides too. Firstly, you’re just so time consuming. My house is a bombsite, the cupboards are bare and the baby desperately needs some winter clothes. Plus, now she’s dropping down to just one nap it’s looking like I’m going to have even less time to devote to you. Writing a post takes me ages, but it’s only because I want to do you justice. Linkies, comments, twitter and all the other social media faff are all elements that that I need to do but just don’t have the time to give you the attention you deserve.

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End of the Road?

Also, and this is a biggy, but I’m uneasy about how much I want to share with you, blog, and by proxy the wider world. Part of me things this is ridiculous – after all who on earth is going to be interested in little old me. A pretty tiny audience I reckon (hi mum!), so what am I worried about? I’ve repeatedly said I never set out for this to be a baby blog and so I’m just not sure how I feel about broadcasting pictures of Matilda online. There are weirdos out there. Then again there are nice and normal people and I know it gives them joy to see the Tildabeast in action, especially as we live so far away from our families and have friends scattered around the globe. And let’s be honest there’s no escaping the fact I’m a ridiculously proud mum and I want to share the highs, and some of the lows, with all and sundry.

I just can’t escape the fact that it bothers me that she doesn’t get a say in all of this and that she will probably be mortified by all that I write and photograph. I can rationalise this by thinking, well I come from a long line of embarrassing parents (hi dad!).  I do need to accept that I will definitely be an embarrassment to Matilda. I find myself embarrassing so that one’s inevitable. And as I have discovered being the child of embarrassing parents teaches you a sense of humour and sturdy sense of resilience if nothing else…

Also I need to remember times have changed and Matilda is of the internet generation. Everything is heading online and this will be her norm, so having an internet savvy mum might be an asset to her upbringing and a good way to teach her about online safety, to ignore trolls and that internet bullies are sadly far too common and the most cowardly of all Losers (with a capital L!). But blog, all this is presuming that we stay together super long term of course….

Blog, on balance I think we will try and work through this and let’s try and stay together. I’m glad I’ve got these things off my chest. It’s helped me clarify where we are. I am not going to get stressed about blogging on a weekly basis. After all my one night pass blog, The Unmummsy Mum’s posts are few and far between, but pure gold (obviously I need to work on the latter point…) and so what if my social media numbers are low. Scandalous, but I don’t even like social media that much anyway. And so what if you see less of Matilda than you do already? You’re my hobby after all. You’ve got to work for me.

 

 

Mummuddlingthrough
A Cornish Mum

Mummascribbles

Brilliant blog posts on HonestMum.com

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23 Comments

  1. October 12, 2016 / 4:10 pm

    I love this so much. I am just slightly ahead of you at 5mths, but it really resonates with me. I feel like I’m at a turning point – I am starting to be approached by brands and I am just trying to work out if this is what I want to do, or whether, as you say, it’s too time consuming… I hope you can work it out too. #BloggerClubUK

    • sgolisti
      October 12, 2016 / 8:36 pm

      Ah thank you, you too. I hope you figure it out, but your blog is great! I for one hope you keep going, but of course, only if it’s right for you xxx

  2. Sarah - mud cakes and wine
    October 12, 2016 / 8:48 pm

    Totally get where your coming from, I wrote a lot about my eldest ASD but it made me sad and it did not feel right. So I changed direction to what I love and helps me cooking and my garden. Good luck moving forward xxx #bloggerclubuk

  3. October 12, 2016 / 9:14 pm

    Oh what a wonderful post. I am with you completely with the boundary on what to share. I am reluctant to share too many snaps of my 21 month old on my blog because as you rightly said, there are some weirdos out there! I love the way you write, it’s so easy to relate with but full of wit too – please don’t have a nasty break up with blog, but more importantly do what’s best for you, right for you and what you feel is natural! #bloggersclubuk

  4. October 13, 2016 / 1:27 pm

    such a perfect and creative way to share your thoughts on blogging. I feel ya mommy!

    #coolmumsclub

  5. October 13, 2016 / 4:04 pm

    Oh Sarah I totally get how you’re feeling. Blogging is the weirdest thing ever isn’t it! I still have waves of losing love for it, that’s totally normal. My advice is trust your gut and listen to your subconscience, but also try not to overthink it. Consider carefully what you are prepared to share and stick to it. And take breaks… often if you need to. I find my passion comes back after a break! Remember YOU are the boss of your blog! Good luck, I hope you stick around xx
    Thanks for linking to #coolmumclub

    • sgolisti
      October 14, 2016 / 10:14 am

      Ah love! Thank you! Actually after just writing and posting about it I feel so much more positive about it. Thank you so much for your kind words and support xxxxxxxxx

  6. October 13, 2016 / 4:36 pm

    Great post! reminds me of how I was feeling of late. Since finishing university and having nothing to do in my day, i feel like blogging is what keeps me sane and challenged. Without it I’m sure I would be going brain dead. I have a lotttttt to learn and thats what putting me off a lil, as well as opening up about my twins and singe parenthood which I am not yet ready to talk about or not sure if I ever will be. My friends and family don’t really know that I blog, something I feel a lil embarrassed about, I don’t know why lol #coolmumclub

    • sgolisti
      October 14, 2016 / 10:13 am

      Hey! Ah glad it resonated (sort of as not actually very cheery post!!!). Definitely keeps me feeling challenged too. You take things at your own pace, but if it helps the more ‘honest’ the post the better I feel once written. I’ve actually got a load of quite personal ones that I wrote and never posted. I find it quite cathartic. Also, I know what you mean about feeling embarrassed. I do too, but when I did take the ‘plunge’ and ‘came out’ to my friends and family they were so OVERWHELMINGLY enthusiastic and positive I wish I had sooner. I’ve had loads of ‘keep going’ texts from them after this post, which is really lovely!! Thank you so much for reading and positing xxx

  7. October 13, 2016 / 8:31 pm

    I love this post!! You are right blogging as wonderful as it is, is so time consuming!! My house is a mess!!! #coolmumclub

  8. October 14, 2016 / 11:25 am

    I have read this noddy away! I started blogging in July with a 4 month old because I was wondering what I could do to keep me sane. However I just went off on a holiday for a week and left the blog behind (with a barrage of scheduled tweets and posts!) and it was nice to destress for a bit. I’m working out who I’m doing it for, where my groove is and where I want to take it #picknmix

  9. October 15, 2016 / 1:49 pm

    You raise some very valid points here. It’s so hard isn’t it to juggle your hobby and tread the tightrope of revealing too much and not. Hopefully in writing things out you will have a clear understanding of what you wish to do. #BloggerClubUK

    • sgolisti
      October 17, 2016 / 9:26 am

      Ah thank you – you’re right I do find writing does help clarify things for me! Thanks for reading & commenting xxx

  10. October 18, 2016 / 8:01 am

    Sharing is a hard balance to strike, the Hubster is embarrassed by some posts so I try to be mindful. #TwinklyTuesday

    • sgolisti
      October 18, 2016 / 8:42 am

      Hahaha! I think my husband has stopped reading my blog for the shame…oopsy!!! Thank you for reading and commenting xxxx

  11. October 18, 2016 / 8:04 am

    I have been blogging for 19 months and I still nodded away reading your post. Blogging is so time consuming and demands a lot of attention if you want it to grow. I always find whenever I want to quit (which is atleast every couple months! ) I take a short break and I always come back feeling more motivated than ever. I hope you don’t break up with your blog..I love your posts xx #TwinklyTuesday

    • sgolisti
      October 18, 2016 / 8:41 am

      Ahhh so true!! It’s funny isn’t last week I decided to take a break….and now I’ve got 2 new post ideas brimming that I can’t wait to sit down and write!! Fickle, moi?!?!?! Thank you so much for reading and your kind words – it means a lot xxx

  12. October 18, 2016 / 8:30 am

    I love this! I’ve been blogging for 17 months and I still have days when I wonder if this is something I can maintain. As a mum of five I have very little time and it gets over whelming at times when I have dead lines to meet and am being hounded by emails from brands to get my reviews done, and in that way the fun element isn’t what I had hoped. But then I write a post sharing my children or raising awareness of baby loss and I know that I am doing the right thing. I am an over sharer when it comes to myself but when it comes to the children I do always write with the thought at the back of my mind that one day they will read it, and that’s what keeps me from crossing the line. #TwinklyTuesday

    • sgolisti
      October 18, 2016 / 8:40 am

      FIVE?!? Wow I really can’t complain about not having enough time!! I know what you mean though – I’m one of life’s oversharers but try to reign it in for Matilda’s sake in the future!! thank you so much for reading and commenting xxxx

  13. October 18, 2016 / 8:46 am

    Love this post. Totally relate with being uneasy about sharing too much online. Sometimes I’m all ‘yeah, let’s do this!’ and other times I just want it to be our own little bubble and that’s it! Glad you’re keeping going though, I’ve only just found your blog!
    #twinklytuesday

    • sgolisti
      October 18, 2016 / 12:35 pm

      Ahhh thank you! I’m exactly the same – totally inconsistent with my sharing online policy!haha! Ahhh and thank you for your kind worlds xxx

  14. October 20, 2016 / 12:57 pm

    Sounds like you’ve lost your blog mojo for a while but I’m sure you’ll get it back! #picknmix

  15. October 20, 2016 / 8:46 pm

    Aww glad you liked being featured on PickNMix. I’ve been blogging just over 2 years now and I go through phases of this every few months. I know I’ve put way too much time and effort into it now to quit. I hope you keep going. I do get it though it’s all consuming. Thanks for linking to #PickNMix
    Eilidh x

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